Human Relationship

Sometimes we spend time asking who is responsible or who to blame,whether in a relationship, in a job or with the people we know. We miss out some warmth in human relationship to give each other support. Treasure what you have.

Just a little story for you...

A boy was born to a couple after eleven years of marriage. They were a loving couple and the boy was the apple of their eyes. When the boy was around two years old, one morning the husband saw a medicine bottle open. He was late for work so he asked the wife to cap the bottle and keep it in the cupboard. The mother, preoccupied in the kitchen totally forgot the matter. The boy playfully went to the medicine bottle and, fascinated with its color, drank it all. It happened to be a poisonous medicine meant for adults in small dosages. When the child showed signs of poisoning the mother took him to the hospital, where he died. The mother was stunned.She was terrified how to face her husband.

When the distraught father came to the hospital and saw the dead child, he looked at his wife $ and uttered just four words.

QUESTIONS:

1. What were the four words ?

2. What is the implication of this story ?

Check with the answers only after you have tried to come up with your own.

Please scroll down for the answer.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

ANSWER

1)The husband just said "I Love You Darling" . . .

2) The husband's totally unexpected reaction is proactive behavior. He is indeed a genius in human relationships. The child is dead. He can never be brought back to life. There is no point in finding fault with the mother. She had also lost her only child. What she needed at that moment was consolation and sympathy from the husband. That is what he gave her.

If everyone can look at life with this kind of perspective, there would be much fewer problems in the world.

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step." Take off all your envies, jealousies, un forgiveness, selfishness, and fears & you will find things are actually not as difficult as you think.

" No man is rich enough to buy the past, so enjoy the PRESENT "

Moral:

Sometimes we spend time in asking who is responsible or whom to blame, in the relationship, but by this way we miss out some warmth that is needed...some things are not merely to blame..Remember always that life is not that easy to understand as it seems... Never try to apply your logic to understand every situation... Let life enjoy its own complexity.. .

And also check:

Lesson for every salaried employee

A Lesson For Every Salaried Employee

A shopkeeper watching over his shop is really surprised when he sees a dog coming inside the ship. He shoos him away. But later, the dog is back inside again. So he goes over to the dog and notices that it has a note in its mouth. He takes the note and it reads “Can I have 12 soaps and a shampoo bottle, please. The money is with the dog.” The shopkeeper looks inside the dog’s mouth and to his surprise there is a 100 rupees note in his mouth. So he takes the money and puts the soap, shampoo and change in a bag, and then places it in the dog’s mouth.

The shopkeeper is so impressed, and since it is the closing time, he decides to follow the dog. The dog is walking down the street, when it comes to the zebra crossing; He waits till the signal turns green. He walks across the road till the bus stop. He waits on the stop and looks up the timetable for the bus. The shopkeeper is totally out of his mind as the dog gets into the bus and sits on a vacant seat. The shopkeeper follows the dog. The dog waits for the conductor to come to his seat. He gives the change to the conductor and shows him the neck belt to keep the ticket. The shopkeeper is almost fainting at this sight and so are the other people in the bus.

The dog then moves to the front exit of the door and waits for the bus stop to arrive, looking outside. As soon as the stop is in sight he wags his tail to inform the driver to stop. Then not even waiting for the bus stop to arrive the dog jumps out and run to the house nearby. It opens a big iron gate and rushes towards the door. As it approaches the door, he changes his mind and walks towards the garden. The dog walks up to the window and beat his head several times on the window. It then walks back to the door and waits. The shopkeeper maintains his senses walks up to the door and watches a big guy open the door.

The guy starts beating, kicking and abusing the dog. The shopkeeper is surprised and runs to stop the guy. The shopkeeper questions the guy “What in the heaven are you doing? The dog is a genius he could be famous in life.” The guy responds “You call this clever? This is the 3rd time in this week that the dog has forgotten the door keys.”

Moral of the story: You may continue to exceed onlooker’s expectations… But will always fall short of the boss’s expectation…

Lampner’s Law of Employment: When leaving work late, you will go unnoticed. When you leave work early, you will meet the boss in the parking lot.

Isaac’s Strange Rule of Staleness: Any food that starts out hard will soften when stale. Any food that starts out soft will harden when stale.

The Salary Axiom: The pay rise is just large enough to increase your taxes and just small enough to have no effect on your take home pay.

What Makes A Person Rich…?

One day a father of a very wealthy family took his son on a trip to the country with the firm purpose of showing his son how poor people live.They spent a couple of days and nights on the farm of what would be considered a very poor family.

On their return from their trip, the father asked his son, "How was the trip?"

"It was great, Dad." "Did you see how poor people live?" the father asked. "Oh yeah," said the son. "So, tell me, what you learned from the trip?" asked the father.

The son answered: "I saw that we have one dog and they had four. We have a pool that reaches to the middle of our garden and they have a creek that has no end. We have imported lanterns in our garden and they have the stars at night. Our patio reaches to the front yard and they have the whole horizon. We have a small piece of land to live on and they have fields that go beyond our sight. We have servants who serve us, but they serve others. We buy our food, but they grow theirs. We have walls around our property to protect us; they have friends to protect them." The boy's father was speechless.

Then his son added, "Thanks, Dad, for showing me how poor we are."

Moral: Isn't perspective a wonderful thing? Makes you wonder what would happen if we all gave thanks for everything we have, instead of worrying about what we don't have.

Appreciate every single thing you have, especially your friends…

Life Is Too Short

After 21 years of marriage, I discovered a new way of keeping alive the spark of love. A little while ago I started to go out with another woman. It was really my wife's idea.

"I know you love her," she said one day, taking me by surprise. "But I love YOU!" I protested. "I know, but you also love her." The other woman my wife wanted me to visit was my mother, who has been a widow for 19 years. The demands of my work and my three children had made it possible to visit her only occasionally. That night, I called to invite her to go out for dinner and a movie. "What's wrong, are you well," she asked? My mother is the type of woman who suspects that a late night call or a surprise invitation is a sign of bad news.

"I thought it would be pleasant to pass some time with you," I responded. “Just the two of us.” She thought about it for a moment, and then said, "I would like that very much." That Friday, after work, as I drove over to pick her up I was a bit nervous. When I arrived at her house, I noticed that she, too, seemed to be nervous about our date. She waited in the doorway with her coat on. She had curled her hair and was wearing the dress that she had worn to celebrate her last wedding anniversary. She smiled from a face that was as radiant as an angel's.

"I told my friends that I was going to go out with my son, and they were impressed," she said, as she got into the car. "They can't wait to hear about our meeting."We went to a restaurant that, although not elegant, was very nice and cozy. My mother took my arm as if she were the First Lady. After we sat down, I had to read the menu. Her eyes could only read large print. Halfway through the entree, I lifted my eyes and saw Mom sitting there staring at me. A nostalgic smile was on her lips. "It was I who used to have to read the menu when you were small," she said. "Then it's time you relaxed and let me return the favor," I responded. During the dinner, we had an agreeable conversation “nothing extraordinary - just catching up on recent events of each other's lives. We talked so much that we missed the movie.

As we arrived at her house later, she said, "I'll go out with you again, but only if you let me invite you." I agreed and kissed her good night.

"How was your dinner date?" asked my wife when I got home. "Very nice. Much nicer than I could have imagined," I answered.

A few days later, my mother died of a massive heart attack. It happened so suddenly that I didn't have a chance to do anything for her.

Sometime later, I received an envelope with a copy of a restaurant receipt from the same place mother and I had dined. An attached note said: "I paid this bill in advance. I was almost sure that I couldn't be there, but, never-the-less, I paid for two plates --one for you and the other for your wife. You will never know what that night meant to me. I love you."At that moment, I understood the importance of saying, "I LOVE YOU" in time, and to give our loved ones the time that they deserve.

Nothing in life is more important than your family and your close friends. Give them the time they deserve, because these things cannot always be put off to "some other time . . ."

And also check:

Wrong Number

Engine Repair

A mechanic was removing a cylinder head from the motor of a Harley motorcycle when he spotted a well-known heart surgeon in his shop. The surgeon was there waiting for the service manager to come take a look at his bike. The mechanic shouted across the garage, "Hey Doc can I ask you a question?" The surgeon, a bit surprised, walked over to the mechanic working on the motorcycle.

The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked, "So Doc, look at this engine. I open its heart, take valves out, fix' them, put them back in, and when I finish, it works just like new. So how come I get such a small salary and you get the really big bucks, when you and I are doing basically the same work?

The surgeon paused, smiled and leaned over, and whispered to the mechanic...

Try doing it with the engine running . . .

Lesson:

Your work is to discover your world and then with all your heart give yourself to it.
To dream of the person you wish to be is to waste the person you are...

And also check:

Where to tap?

Where To Tap?

Ever heard the story of the giant ship engine that failed? The ship's owners tried one expert after another, but none of them could figure but how to fix the engine. Then they brought in an old man who had been fixing ships since he was a youngster.

He carried a large bag of tools with him, and when he arrived, he immediately went to work. He inspected the engine very carefully, top to bottom.

Two of the ship's owners were there, watching this man, hoping he would know what to do. After looking things over, the old man reached into his bag and pulled out a small hammer. He gently tapped something. Instantly, the engine lurched into life. He carefully put his hammer away. The engine was fixed!

A week later, the owners received a bill from the old man for ten thousand dollars. "What?!" the owners exclaimed. "He hardly did anything! So they wrote the old man a note saying, "Please send us an itemized bill."

The man sent a bill that read:

Tapping with a hammer ........................ $ 2.00
Knowing where to tap ..........................$ 9998.00
Grand Total ....................................... $ 10000.00

Lesson: Effort is important, but knowing where to make an effort in your life makes all the difference.

And also check:

Engine repair

Wrong Number

It was the day of my son's XII results and I was so tensed. I sat beside him while he logged on the web site with his registration no. "Ma", he screamed in excitement," I scored 1191, with cent in 4 subjects. I can’t believe it. "I kind of became numb in my excitement. My eyes became wet. I kissed him on his forehead and smiled. Soon we realized that he stood first in the state. Oh, my joy knew no bounds when Reporters and media persons soon swamped my house for interviews and photos. I was so honored to  join him in the snaps. I wanted to call my "wrong-number-friend to tell him the news......I was so excited.

He was someone whom I have known for more than 20 years. I still do not remember when we became friends, but certainly cannot forget the first day he called me when I blasted him for giving me so many wrong calls.....after that he had called up a week later asking apology, for he had now got the right no of his friend whom he wanted to talk to .We spoke for an hour that day...even without knowing each other's names. Though he kept pestering me to reveal my name I never did and so he kept a name...Sweety. I used to get so shy whenever he called me 'Sweety'. I was doing first year of BSc. Maths then, and he was a Computer Engineering student. From then he used to call me very often. We almost discussed everything.. By the final year of my college, we probably we were
in love, but I had been cautious. I was in a dilemma whether to tell him. But what if he was of a different religion? Do I have the courage to talk to my parents about it? ........all these questions ran through my mind. I decided I'll not talk to him thereafter. When he called next time I lied to him I that I was going to Delhi for my post graduation.

He gave me his office number and asked me to ring him up once I reach there. I never called .......A couple of months later my marriage got fixed with a guy of my parent's choice. I was not happy but I did not complain; rather accepted it as an obedient daughter. At times I felt I missed my wrong- number friend....... My hubby was a moody person; I have hardly spent any good time with him- but he was genuine indeed and never bothered my personal space. After 2 years we had a boy...Yet, I was not very happy with my married life...

One day I happened to browse through my diary and found I still had my old friend's office phone no that he had given me. I dialed it and spoke with him. He said he was married and got a kid too. I was happy for him though in the bottom of the heart I felt bad that I could not marry him. From then I used to occasionally call him on that number. I never gave him mine as I felt that would put me in trouble... And till today I almost shared everything with him including my relationship with my hubby.....today I was so happy and I wanted to call him.

Just then I got a call. "Your husband met with an accident and died on the spot" I banged the phone down. I broke. I did not call my friend.....I somehow started feeling guilty. I have never tried to talk to him properly when he was alive or moved close with him.... I felt I had been a bad wife.....

A couple of years passed and one day my son brought home a Bengali girl and said they wanted to get married. I got them married as I did not want my son to go through what I did. I decided to give my son his father's room and started clearing it.There was a phone book.

I gently opened it to find, “Wrong no Sweety -26579785"

God always puts the right numbers together. It’s we who interpret it wrong!!!!!

And also check:

The tale of a date

The Tale Of A Date

 

She is my first and the only love till this point. Her name is Nivedita, a software engineer by profession. She is turning twenty-four shortly and she is undoubtedly the most beautiful girl on earth. I made it a point to share my feelings today with her, hoping this letter would do it all. I have not written any letters in my life till now, and this is perhaps the first time I pen down my thoughts and expectations for the person I love the most on earth.

It’s been four years since we met each other and a strong bond has grown between us through these years. I was unaware of her love for a long time. In fact, I hadn’t spoken a word with her till about a year I had seen her for the first time. It was in one long journey in train, I understood her love for me. It happened a year ago.

It was a trip from Kanyakumari to Chennai in Kanyakumari Express. We had passed Vizhupuram and it was 3 am in the morning. I thought I was the only one who was awake in the whole compartment in that early hour. But to my surprise, she was also awake. I didn’t know then that it was for me she had got up that early. Hardly had she seemed to move her sight away from me. She smiled at me very often and every time I encountered that cute smile, I started eagerly awaiting the next battle with her smile and shining eyes. Her smile had everything in it, the story of unbelievable affection, care and what not.

From that moment, till now, I too have loved her to a great extent. We have never exchanged words about the love we have towards each other, but words are too less to reflect the amount of affection and love we share. I have always thought that the love would remain throughout our life and it happened to be the same till three months back.

Vivek had come into my life three months back. In fact I myself had waited his arrival for quite a long time, but from the moment he arrived, he has been the worst enemy in my life. Nivedita and he had grown close over times, and the fraction of time she spent with me got lowered to a great extent. Even the latest Sensex fall would be less compared to the fall in her affection for me.

I have wondered how it could suddenly happen, after near to four long years of understanding and love amidst us. At times, I have felt like killing that guy Vivek, but I have not had that much strength or braveness to do that. Still, what can he do? He did no mistake to his part, except for being born charming, cute and fair.

Two days before when I saw her, she was feeding food for him and I was hurt to the core on seeing the incident. My anger had boiled down to tears, and I broke. It took almost close to three hours for me stop crying, I felt I had cried more than how much I would have cried when I was born. I have been trying to understand where it all went wrong, but to my fortune, till now, I haven’t been able spot it out. Once for all, I decided to tell all my feelings to her, no matter how she is going to deal with it. I have heard my dad saying a lot of times ‘Something is better than nothing!’ and I made up my mind to do ‘something’.

I fixed today to be the ‘DATE’ for throwing open in front of her the ‘TALE’ of my pure love for her. I don’t know whether I will get a positive response from her, but I pray God that only the best happens.

Trrrrriinnnnnnggggg…

My school bell has rung. The lunch break is over. My ‘UKG’ classmates would be ready to welcome me with the same cute smile as ever.

I hope my ‘MOTHER’ Nivedita will be alright, understands me and shares some time with me also, apart from that she spends with my three months old rascal ‘BROTHER’ Vivek.

See you after a break!!!

 

With Love,

And also check:

Wrong Number

Don't Change the World

Once upon a time, there was a king who ruled a prosperous country. One day, he went for a trip to some distant areas of his country. When he was back to his palace, he complained that his feet were very painful, because it was the first time that he went for such a long trip, and the road that he went through was very rough and stony. He then ordered his people to cover every road of the entire country with leather. Definitely, this would need thousands of cows' skin, and would cost a huge amount of money.

Then one of his wise servant dared himself to tell the king, "Why do you have to spend that unnecessary amount of money? Why don't you just cut a little piece of leather to cover your feet?” The king was surprised, but he later agreed to his suggestion, to make a "shoe" for himself.

There is actually a valuable lesson of life in this story: To make this world a happy place to live, you better change yourself - your heart; and not the world...

And also check:

The parable of the old man, the boy and the donkey

The Parable of the Old Man, The Boy, and The Donkey

There was an old man, a boy and a donkey. They were going to town and the boy was riding the donkey, with the old man walking alongside. As they rambled along, they passed some old women sitting in the shade. One of the women called out, ''Shame on you, a great lump of a boy, riding while your old father is walking." The man and boy decided that maybe the critics were right so they changed positions.

Later they ambled by a group of mothers watching their young children play by the river. One cried out in protest, "How could you make your little boy walk in the hot sun while you ride!" The two travelers decided that maybe they both should walk. Next they met some young men out for a stroll. "How stupid you are to walk when you have a perfectly good donkey to ride!" one yelled derisively. So both father and son clambered onto the donkey, deciding they both should ride.

They were soon settled and underway again. They next encountered some children who were on their way home from school. One girl shouted, "How mean to put such a load on a poor little animal." The old man and the boy saw no alternative. Maybe the critics were right. They now struggled to carry the donkey. As they crossed a bridge, they lost their grip on the confused animal and he fell to his death in the river.

Moral of the story: If you try to please everyone you will never know what to do, it will be hard to get anywhere, you will please no-one, not even yourself, and you will probably lose everything.

Lesson: There is no way to please everyone…

And also check:

Don't change the world

An ABP On GOD

A couple had two little boys, ages eight and ten, who were excessively mischievous. The two were always getting into trouble and their parents could be assured that if any mischief occurred in their town their two young sons were in some way involved. The parents were at their wits end as to what to do about their sons' behavior. The mother had heard that a clergyman in town had been successful in disciplining children in the past, so she asked her husband if he thought they should send the boys to speak with  the clergyman.

The husband said, "We might as well. We need to do something before I really lose my temper!" The clergyman agreed to speak with the boys, but asked to see them individually. The eight-year-old went to meet with him first. The clergyman sat the boy down and asked him sternly, "Where is God?" The boy made no response, so the clergyman repeated the question in an even sterner tone, "Where is God?" Again the boy made no attempt to answer, so the clergyman raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the boy's face, "WHERE IS GOD?"

At that, the boy bolted from the room and ran directly home slamming himself in his closet. His older brother followed him into the closet and said, "What happened?" The younger brother replied, "We are in BIG trouble this time. God is missing and they think we did it!"

And also check:

The Prince

The Prince

Once upon a time there was a Prince who, through no fault of his own was cast under a spell by an evil witch. The curse was that the Prince could speak only one word each year. However, he could save up the words so that if he did not speak for a whole year, then the following year he was allowed to speak two words. (This was before the time of letter writing or sign language.)

One day he met a beautiful princess (ruby lips, golden hair, sapphire eyes,) and fell madly in love. With the greatest difficulty he decided to refrain from speaking for two whole years so that he could look at her and say "my darling". But at the end of the two years he wished to tell her that he loved her.

Because of this he waited three more years without speaking (bringing the total number of silent years to 5).But at the end of these five years he realized that he had to ask her to marry him. So he waited ANOTHER four years without speaking.

Finally as the ninth year of! Silence ended, his joy knew no bounds. Leading the lovely princess to the most secluded and romantic place in that beautiful royal garden the prince heaped a hundred red roses on her lap, knelt before her, and taking her hand in his, said huskily, "My darling, I love you! Will you marry me?" And the princess tucked a strand of golden hair behind a dainty ear, opened her sapphire eyes in wonder, and parting her ruby lips, said:
.
.
Scroll down......
.
.
......Well, guess what she said...........
.
.
......come on, guess what she could have
.
Said..............
.
..

"Pardon . . . ?

And also check:

Letter of apology

Letter Of Apology

A School Master from a remote rural area in Bihar was transferred to a new School in Mumbai. He reported for duty two days after the actual date of joining. Consequently he was asked for an explanation in writing and here it is...

Deer sur,

If small small mistakes getting inside my letter, I big you pardon, ass I am not a good englis speaker. This is my fist vijit to Bombai. Stickly speaking, I wanted to joint your school more fastly, but for the following region, too much time lost in getting slipper reservation in three-tyre compartment. I tolded I has head ache problem due to migration. Still the clerk rejected to give ticket to I and my sun. I putted a complain on station masterji. He said I to go to the lady clerk. At first she also rejected. I then pressed for long time and finally with great difficulty she gave a birth to my sun. Anyway I thanked the station master also because he was phully responsible for getting birth of my sun. Ass a hole it was a bhery diphicult experiment in my hole life. hope u will look into explain my hole story after, and late me joint first. I am now ending this fastly. I am a waiter for your responsement. May God blast you!

And also check:

Dead lock

Dead Lock

Boss said to secretary: For a week we will go abroad, so make arrangement.

Secretary make call to Husband: For a week my boss and I will be going abroad, you look after yourself.

Husband make call to secret lover: My wife is going abroad for a week, so lets spend the week together.

Secret lover make call to small boy whom she is giving private tuition: I have work for a week, so you need not come for class.

Small boy make call to his grandfather: Grandpa, for a week I don't have class because my teacher is busy. Lets spend the week together.
----
Grandpa(the 1st boss ;) ) make call to his secretary: This week I am spending my time with my grandson. We cannot attend that meeting.

Secretary make call to her husband: This week my boss has some work, we canceled our trip.

Husband make call to secret lover: We cannot spend this week together, my wife has canceled her trip.

Secret lover make call to small boy whom she is giving private tuition: This week we will have class as usual.

Small boy make call to his grandfather: Grandpa, my teacher said this week I have to attend class. Sorry I can't give you company.

Grandpa make call to his secretary: Don't worry this week we will attend that meeting, so make arrangement.

And also check:

Let your boss first

Shocking Telegrams

TELEGRAM #1 A daughter sends a telegram to her father on her clearing B.Ed exams, which the father receives as :"Father, your daughter has been successful in BED."

TELEGRAM #2 A husband, while he is on a business trip to a hill station sends a telegram to his wife :"I wish you were here." The message received by wife:"I wish you were her."

TELEGRAM #3 A wife with near maturing pregnancy goes to railway station to return to her husband. At the reservation counter , while her turn came, it was the last ticket. Taking pity on a very old lady next to her in the queue, she offered her berth to the old lady and sent a telegram to her husband which reached as:"Shall be coming tomorrow, heavy rush in the train, gave birth to an old lady.

TELEGRAM #4 A man wants to celebrate his wife's Birthday by throwing a party So he goes to order a birthday cake. The salesman asks him what message he wants to put on the cake.Well he thinks for a while and says: let's put, "you are not getting older you are getting better".The salesman asks "how do you want me to put it? "The man says, Well put "You are not getting older", at the top and "You are getting better" at the bottom.The real fun didn't start until the cake was opened the entire party watched the message decorated on the cake:"You are not getting older at the top, You are getting better at the bottom".

TELEGRAM #5 A man from Agra went to Ajmer . His wife was in her parent's house in Delhi . When the man went to Ajmer , he asked his servant to send a telegram to his wife indicating about his trip to Ajmer .He sent a telegram. When the wife received the telegram, she fainted. It was written:'sethji aaj mar gaye ! - Sethji Ajmer gaye

Let Your Boss First

A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out.

The Genie says, "I'll give each of you just one wish" "Me first! Me first!" says the admin. clerk. "I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world." Poof! She's gone.

"Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii,relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life." Poof! He's gone.

"OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, "I want those two back in the office after lunch."

Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say.

And also check:

Don't copy if you can't paste

Trainee Engineer

On his first day trainee dialed the kitchen and shouted into the phone:"Get me a cup of coffee, quickly!"
The voice from the other side responded: "You fool; you've dialled the wrong extension!
Do you know who you're talking to?"
"No" replied the trainee.
"It's the Managing Director of the company, you idiot!
"The trainee shouted back: "And do you know who YOU are talking to, you IDIOT?"
"No!" replied the Managing Director angrily.
"Thank God!"replied the trainee and put down the phone...

And also check:

See the guts!

You Are Not His Son

A young man went to his father one day to tell him that he wanted to get married.

His father was happy for him. He asked his son who the girl was, and he told him that it was Samantha a girl from the neighborhood. With a sad face the old man said to his son, 'I'm sorry to say this son but I have to. The girl you want to marry is your sister, but please don't tell your mother.

The young man again brought 3 more names to his father but ended up frustrated cause the response was still the same.

So he decides to go to his mother. 'Mama I want to get married but all the girls that I love, dad said they are my sisters and I mustn't tell you.

His mother smiling said to him, Don't worry my son, you can marry any of those girls.

You're not his son!!

And also check:

Two beautiful daughters

Two Beautiful Daughters

A middle-aged couple had two beautiful daughters but always talked about having a son. They decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted.
The wife got pregnant and delivered a healthy baby boy. The joyful father rushed to the nursery to see his new son.

He was horrified at the ugliest child he had ever seen. He told his wife, "There's no way I can be the father of this baby. Look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered! Have you been fooling around behind my back?"

The wife smiled sweetly and replied, "! Not this time!"

And also check:

You are not his son

Don't Copy If You Can't Paste

At training program for top management,a well-known motivational speaker gathering the entire crowd's attention, said, "The best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who wasn't my wife !"

The crowd was shocked! He followed up by saying, "That woman was my mother!" The crowd burst into laughter and he gave his speech, which was well received.

About a week later, one of the top managers who had the training decided to use that joke at his house. He tried to rehearse the joke in his head. It was a bit foggy to him. He said loudly, "The greatest years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who was not my wife!"

Naturally, his wife was shell shocked, murmuring. After standing there for almost 10 seconds trying to recall the second half of the joke, the manager finally blurted out "... and I can't remember who she was !" As expected, he got thrashing of his life time....

Moral of the story: Don't copy if you can't paste

Two Psychiatrists

How do two psychiatrists greet each other?
''You are fine, how am I?''

And also check:

Don't copy if you can't paste

Cricket In Heaven

Sachin Tendulkar and Saurav Ganguly, 75 and 80 years old are sitting on a park bench feeding pigeons and talking about cricket, like they do every day Sachin turns to Sourav and says, "Do you think there's cricket in heaven?"

Ganguly thinks about it for a minute and replies, "I dunno. But let's make a deal if I die first, I'll come back and tell you if there's cricket in heaven, and if you die first, you do the same" Sachin agrees on this. Then they do hand shake on it.

Sadly a few months later, poor Sachin passes away. One day Ganguly is sitting there feeding the pigeons when he hears a voice whisper, "Sourav, Sourav!" Ganguly responds, "Sachin! Is that you?" "Yes whispers Sachin's ghost. Ganguly asks, "So, is there cricket in heaven?" "Well" says Sachin, "I've got good news and bad news...!!!" "Gimme the good news first" says Ganguly.

Sachin says, "Well there is cricket in heaven" Ganguly says, "That's great!....What news could be bad enough to ruin that!?"

Sachin sighs and whispers, "You and me, We are going to open the innings this Friday"

And also check:

Yeh hai youngisthan!

Is this 2261-1382?

A guy dials his home and a strange woman answers.
The guy says, "Who is this?"
"This is the maid," answers the woman.
"We don't have a maid," says the man.
The woman says, "I was hired this morning by the woman of the house."
The man says, "Well, this is her husband. Is she there?"
The woman replies, "She is upstairs in the bed room with someone who I figured was her husband."
The guy is fuming and says to the maid, "Listen, would you like to make 50,000?"
The maid asks, "What will I have to do?"
The man tells her, "I want you to get my gun from the desk, and shoot the Bitch and the jerk she's with."
The maid puts the phone down; the man hears footsteps and then two gun shots.
The maid comes back to the phone, "What do I do with the bodies?"
The man says, "Throw them in the swimming pool."
Puzzled, the maid answers, "But you don't have a pool."
A long pause and the man asks, "Oops..! Is this 2261-1382?"

And also check:

Cricket in heaven

Lost Engine

An airplane was flying from LA to New York. About an hour into the flight, the pilot announced, "We have lost an engine, but don't worry, there are three left. However, instead of 5 hours it will take 7 hours to get to New York.

"A little later, the pilot announced, "A second engine failed, but we still have two left. However, it will take 10 hours to get to New York."Somewhat later, the pilot again came on the intercom and announced, "A third engine had died. Never fear, because the plane can fly on a single engine. However, it will now take 18 hours to get to new York.

"At this point, one passenger said, "Gee, I hope we don't lose that last engine, or we'll be up here forever!"

And also check:

Is this 2261-1382?

See The Guts!

On a ship, the Project managers of three different companies belonging to 3 different nations were traveling with their Trainee guys.

They started an argument on whose Trainee engineer had more guts.

The American PM called for one of his men and told him to jump off and take around swimming around the moving ship. The Trainee did as he was commanded. The American PM boasted of by saying, "See the guts!"

Now the German PM called out for one of his men and asked him to take two similar rounds around the moving ship. The Trainee did as he was told. When he came back from the water the German PM said, "See the guts!"

Now the Indian PM called out for his most courageous man and asked him to take five similar rounds. The Trainee promptly replied, “Why the hell should I ?" The PM proudly said, ** "See the guts!" *

And also check:

Lost Engine

Great Communication

A man and his wife had been arguing all night, and neither was speaking to the other. It was not unusual for the pair to continue this war of silence for two or three days, however, on this occasion the man was concerned; he needed to be awake at 4:30am the next morning to catch an important flight, and being a very heavy sleeper he normally relied on his wife to wake him. Cleverly, so he thought, while his wife away from bedroom, he wrote on a piece of paper: 'Please wake me at 4:30am - I have an important flight to catch'. He put the note on his wife's pillow, then turned over and went to sleep.

The man awoke the next morning and looked at the clock. It was 8:00am. Enraged that he'd missed his flight, he was about to go in search of his errant wife to give her a piece of his mind, when he spotted a hand-written note on his bedside cabinet. The note said: 'It's 4:30am - get up.'

And also check:

See the guts!

Four Friends

Four friends, who hadn't seen each other in 30 years,reunited at a party. After several drinks, one of the men had to use the restroom. Those who remained talked about their kids.

The first guy said, "My son is my pride and joy.He started working at a successful company at the bottom of the barrel. He studied Economics and Business Administration and soon began to climb the corporate ladder and now he's the president of the company. He became so rich that he gave his best friend a top of the line Mercedes for his birthday.

"The second guy said, "Darn, that's terrific! My son is also my pride and joy. He started working for a big airline, and then went to flight school to become a pilot. Eventually he became a partner in the company, where he owns the majority of its assets. He's so rich that he gave his best friend a brand new jet for his birthday.

"The third man said: "Well, that's terrific! My son studied in the best universities and became an engineer. Then he started his own construction company and is now a multi-millionaire. He also gave away something very nice and expensive to his best friend for his birthday: A 30,000 square foot mansion. "The three friends congratulated each other just as the fourth  returned from the restroom and asked: "What are all the congratulations for?"

One of the three said: "We were talking about the pride we feel for the successes of our sons. ...What about your son?"

The fourth man replied: "My son is gay and makes a living dancing as a stripper at a nightclub."The three friends said: "What a shame...what a disappointment.

"The fourth man replied: "No, I'm not ashamed. He's my son and I love him. And he hasn't done too bad either. His birthday was two weeks ago, and he received a beautiful 30,000 square foot mansion, a brand new jet and a top of the line Mercedes from his three boy friends. !!!!!!!

And also check:

Great Communication